I've never been a cheater nor have I cheated, but I understand how a dude can have a mistress. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's right, but I understand how the situation can happen.  A man can love two completely different women for two completely different reasons. Consider yourself lucky if you find that "one" that is your everything. That's very rare...but I hope to find that one day.  Either way, no mistresses for me. I'm the type of guy that would break up with a chick if my heart isn't true. But some guys prefer to have their cake and eat it too. Yeah...I know...I'm poetic and shit.

Anyway...these are both the SHIT SON!  I was strolling through the chip aisle as always and these caught my eye. Pringles took my idea...again!  I always thought Pringles should do a tortilla chip, and they've succeeded.

The Southwestern Ranch flavor is EXACTLY what my tastebuds imagine when I hear "southwest." Zesty creamy cool flavors with a kick of mild smoked peppers.

The Nacho cheese flavor gaffled their flavor from the chip that is the epitome of what we know a nacho cheese chip to be...Doritos! Great texture with the perfect balance of corn/nacho cheese flavors. I eat like 4 at a time because I'm a thug like that.

I love them both.  No need to cheat. I'm in a polyamorous relationship with these chips. Great flavors, lovely texture... 5 outta 5 on the chip mack scale.

I had a reputation for being a tough guy in the 2nd grade...completely by accident. Growing up in the early 80's,  kung fu movies were the shit! All of us kids would kick and punch the shit out of each other trying to recreate stuff we saw on Kung Fu theatre hosted by John Saxon the previous weekend.  My buddy Tyrone and I had some EPIC sparring matches at lunch time. Kids would gather around and cheer us on...only fueling our intensity and willingness to try crazier shit. The crowd was going berserk! With the energy from the crowd, I somehow accomplished what every kung fu watching kid dreamed of...I flipped Tyrone over! Unfortunately for Tyrone,  it was on concrete.  Unfortunately for me, it was in front of a teacher. Tyrone cried. I felt like shit. The teacher came over, looked me in my face and exclaimed "You bad." I went to school in L.A....this teacher was too hood to use "you're."

A few days later later Tyrone tried to rebuild his reputation. He dared me to hit him in front of a raucous crowd of 7 year olds to prove he wouldn't cry. I hit him in the mouth, knocking his loose front tooth out in the process. He cried...again. With blood everywhere the crowd went silent.  I felt awful but I had to play it off like I meant to do it and that I was the baddest man on the planet if anyone else wanted to fuck with me....because of how stupid I didn't want to look and how dumb I really felt on the inside for hurting my friend.

Luckily I left my sordid past behind me when I moved to Riverside in the 3rd grade where I would gain a new reputation as....the black kid.

Anyway...these chips are aiiight. Good texture just like the other deep ridge Ruffles, but the flavor is slightly off and isn't strong enough. These chips could use more heat, more "vinegary" flavor,  and more zest. After a few chips they're pretty bland. Decent chip, but could be so much better. 3.5 outta 5 on the chip mack scale.

One day many years ago I was blessed with a surprise visitor on my day off. One of my nearest and dearest homies graced me with his presence on a glorious rainy day. As I let him in my house I was curious as to why he was still in his Walter's Mercedes uniform and at my door so early. He told me that he was moving an $80,000 Mercedes-Benz in the lot and end up brushing up against the side of a wall. He was reprimanded but wasn't written up. An accident is an accident right? Well....there's more. Less than an hour later my good friend was backing up a brand new expensive luxury car and hit another brand new expensive luxury car. His manager was pretty pissed at this point and said if it happens again to not even bother coming back to work.  A short time later that same day, after his manager's warning, my dear old buddy was moving another very expensive car, a Porsche...with a manual transmission....in the rain, and wouldn't you know it? A damn expensive (parked) Mercedes came outta nowhere and stayed put just enough (parked) for my buddy to slam this expensive Porsche right into the side of it.  Damn parked cars. They sneak up on ya'. My homie then casually got out of the car, walked to his car without saying anything to anyone, and drove off...straight to my house. Surprisingly without causing anymore damage on the way out! You can tally up the tens of thousands of dollars in damages my pal caused. I sure as hell did in order to bestow a nickname on my friend. As of that day he was known as the $57,000 Man.

Just like I was surprised to see my buddy at my doorstep that day, I was super surprised at how much I enjoyed these new Chile Limon Funyons. I don't usually fuck with Limon flavored anything because its often too tart and ruins the flavor for me. Not these! Its amazing how perfectly balanced Frito Lay's flavors are.  These  chips are packed with flavor and aren't hot at all, I was expecting some heat,  but  even without the heat these are delicious!  The onion is a great base on which the zesty chile flavored is complimented with the perfect hint of lime. I almost didn't buy these because I've been disappointed with chile/lime combos before. I'm glad I went back into that Rubidoux Shell gas station. I wasn't disappointed and neither will you be. 4.5 outta 5 on the chip mack scale.