It was time for me to get my usual dental check up. My insurance recently changed, so I had to find a new dentist. "No problem, but I ain't getting no punk ass x-rays" I thought to myself. Prior to my appointment, I had some x-rays performed at my primary doctor's office the previous week. My independent Google research determined that I shouldn't be subjected to any further unnecessary radiation should my dentist request them. Besides, I grew up seeing how radiation ruined David Banner's life in that 70's tv show "The Incredible Hulk." Fuck that shit.
Im not afraid of dentists and actually look forward to my appointment, but because of the subconscious chip on my shoulder about x-rays, I was a tad apprehensive when checking in. The Dental Assistant calls my name and tells me I need x-rays (of course). I reply, "No I don't. I just had them six months ago. My teeth haven't changed in six months." Flustered, she quickly leaves the room. Just as quickly she returns saying "Well, we just need like 4 really quick ones." Without raising my voice, I very calmly told her that I wasn't trying to be difficult, but I really didn't think I needed them. She leaves again. This time, a very attractive black girl comes in. I immediately knew who she was and why she was summoned. She was my Negro Whisperer. They thought by sending a cute girl of my same race to talk to me in our ancient "Negro-speak" she'd be able to defuse the situation. "They sent you you in here to calm me down huh?" We both laughed and she relpied that she wasn't. She was the billing coordinator and said I needed to get them done for my insurance to cover the appointment. I relented, and the Dental Assistant returned and proceeded to take 57 xrays of my mouth. Well, maybe 57, I stopped counting after 13.
Negro Whisperer: 1. Todd: 0.
Anyway, my very good friend and extremely funny comedian Eli grabbed these for me on his last trip to his Motherland. Upon first bite, intense flavors of paprika, savory sweet basil, and Thai chili hits my palate. These chips aren't too hot at all, but they possess an extremely smooth and subtle heat finish that perfectly compliments the basil flavor. There's another flavor that's distinctly Asian, but I can't quite identify it. Almost like a very mellow essence of fish sauce (which I'm not usually a fan of), but it's extremely mild. I tried to read the ingredients, but they're written in Thai. Whatever it is, it bridges the basil and chili flavors perfectly. These are really, really good! I wish I can get them in the States! 5 outta 5 on the chip mack scale.
*You can see the hilarious comedy of Eli here:
Eli Nicolas "Virgin No More."