The year was 1994. It was the fall of my Senior year in high school. This year would go down in infamy as the year a young Chipmack would get played by who would become his arch ememy...the Cheeseburger Pimp.
After a typical high school day of eating flaming hot cheetos and turning down a few hyna's invitations to "scam," me and my cronies would head down the McDonald's up the street. Famished, and with only two dollars and a few nickels and dimes in my Raiders starter jacket, I had just enough to get two McDonald's cheeseburgers. When you're starving from only eating a bag of hot cheetos and drinking two grape Snapples the whole day, two hot punk-ass McDonald's cheeseburgers might as well be a porterhouse steak from Mastro's. I was looking forward to sinking my teeth into them to say the least.
The visor wearing big tittied girl behind the counter calls my number. I anxiously but smoothly as a young Billy Dee Williams grab the tray and head back to the booth to reconnect with my jnco jean wearing associates. I open the first wrapper...FUCK! To my horror it was just two buns and melted cheese! I open the second wrapper to the same emotionally draining revelation of meatless malady. I was pissed. Hurt. Filled with rage.
I walk up to the counter and I see him. Laughing. A dude that I had no love for and that had no love for me. High school beef was real. He played me. Played me hard. I refused to order another cheeseburger in fear that he'd rub his nuts on the patty...or worse...rub his nuts on the patty AND the bun. Going to the manager also wasn't an option because I wasn't then nor am I now "bitch-made." I took that loss. But I have never forgotten. I never will.
Anyway....these Stax cheeseburger flavored chips are aiiight. Upon first bite, I get a pickly cheesey mustardy oniony taste with a mellow undertone of something that I guess can be described as "meaty." These remind me EXACTLY of McDonald's cheeseburgers. Not bad, not great, but definitely snackable. 3 outta 5 on the chipmack scale.
After a typical high school day of eating flaming hot cheetos and turning down a few hyna's invitations to "scam," me and my cronies would head down the McDonald's up the street. Famished, and with only two dollars and a few nickels and dimes in my Raiders starter jacket, I had just enough to get two McDonald's cheeseburgers. When you're starving from only eating a bag of hot cheetos and drinking two grape Snapples the whole day, two hot punk-ass McDonald's cheeseburgers might as well be a porterhouse steak from Mastro's. I was looking forward to sinking my teeth into them to say the least.
The visor wearing big tittied girl behind the counter calls my number. I anxiously but smoothly as a young Billy Dee Williams grab the tray and head back to the booth to reconnect with my jnco jean wearing associates. I open the first wrapper...FUCK! To my horror it was just two buns and melted cheese! I open the second wrapper to the same emotionally draining revelation of meatless malady. I was pissed. Hurt. Filled with rage.
I walk up to the counter and I see him. Laughing. A dude that I had no love for and that had no love for me. High school beef was real. He played me. Played me hard. I refused to order another cheeseburger in fear that he'd rub his nuts on the patty...or worse...rub his nuts on the patty AND the bun. Going to the manager also wasn't an option because I wasn't then nor am I now "bitch-made." I took that loss. But I have never forgotten. I never will.
Anyway....these Stax cheeseburger flavored chips are aiiight. Upon first bite, I get a pickly cheesey mustardy oniony taste with a mellow undertone of something that I guess can be described as "meaty." These remind me EXACTLY of McDonald's cheeseburgers. Not bad, not great, but definitely snackable. 3 outta 5 on the chipmack scale.
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